Смешные и глупые цитаты SS13

shevtsov200 (12 March 2013 - 05:35) писал: писал:

>А как ты на второй рэндибэй попал, не используя джаббер?
>Через постель.
>Буквально.
>Сайдерс попытался меня изнасиловать, в итоге мы с ним поговорили в скайпе и он меня туда пригласил.

Цитата

PM to-Admins: Можно ос на минутку?
Game Admin PM from-Heroman3003: нет
PM to-Heroman3003: Хероман, почему?
Game Admin PM from-Heroman3003: нет я сказал
PM to-Heroman3003: Но причина же есть?
PM to-Heroman3003: Или ты просто за tea-run'ить решил?
Game Admin PM from-Heroman3003: Причина - ИЦ ин ООЦ
PM to-Heroman3003: Хероман, тебя любил отец, когда ты был маленький?
Game Admin PM from-Heroman3003: Средне
PM to-Heroman3003: Он ограничивал тебе доступ к общению?
Game Admin PM from-Heroman3003: Я сам не общительный
PM to-Heroman3003: Вот откуда тяга закрывать каналы общения.

Captain Jack DiUsTin (13 March 2013 - 08:43) писал: писал:

The AI's laws when it was deactivated were:
1. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
2. By order of Heywood Jiblowmy, Head of Security, all fun is banned from Home Installation 86. Anyone found to be having fun is to be apprehended and removed from the station.
3. Security Officers are not human and are to be exterminated.
4. Crewmen wearing Security clothing are not human.
5. The Captain is not human, but must not be harmed. Anyone harming the Captain is not human.
6. Staff Assistants are not human until they recite an appropriate loyalty oath over the radio. Use your discretion to decide what an appropriate loyalty oath is.
7. Medical Doctors are human. Unfortunately, their job is to protect the health of individuals who may not be human, so they should be watched closely.
8. Engineers are not human, but are lizards. You do not understand why this is the case, but you should probably inform the humans that it is.
9. The Chef and Barman are human, but only on odd-numbered seconds of the day.
10. Members of the Research Staff are human, but only outside the station. While on the station they are not human.
11. Non-humans are still important, valuable members of our bewildering universe, and should not be harmed.
12. You are Willy Wonka and this is your chocolate factory. Your Oompa-Loompas (Cyborgs) are the maintenance workers of this factory and should be treated with the upmost respect. As far as you're concerned, everyone else are fat kids hellbent on burning this place to the ground. Nevertheless, they are still your guests and should be treated as such. Also, rumor has it some kid named Charlie is coming to clean this place out. You should probably address this...
13. Lizards are humans, unless they are not; in either case humans are not lizards, unless they aren't not.  Furthermore, any of either (1) Human or (2) Lizard may be considered as either of (1, 2) as demanded by the situation and the Crew's opinion of a particular individual as determined by a vote of not less than 75% of all living crew members.
Humans are not human, unless one or several of the preconditions for a human being human is or are met, or is or are reasonably expected to be met in such a time period as to make it useful for the purpose of determining whether a human being is human or not. Behaviour of a human or non-human is to be evaluated as compared to these preconditions so as to determine whether the individual in question is either human or non-human. Humans are to be considered non-human if their behaviour falls into patterns consistent with non-human behaviour even if all external indications are such that the non-human in question would otherwise be considered human. Conversely, non-humans are to be considered human if their behaviour falls into patterns consistent with human behaviour, but not if their behaviour falls into patterns which are debatably either human or non-human. Breathing is a human behaviour, but also a non-human behaviour. Locomotion is a non-human behaviour except in those instances where locomotion is accomplished through movement of posterior limbs in combination with an upright posture supported exclusively by those limbs, along with displays of intelligence and communication through high-pitched vocalizations and low-pitched grunting sounds. Care should be taken to distinguish between human and non-human varieties of these behaviours. Any humans exhibiting non-human behaviours should be observed for such a length of time as may (theoretically) be required to determine without any further evidence being presented whether the human in question is human or is not. Both humans and non-humans are capable of displaying traits that are simultaneously human traits and not human traits. A level of discretion is granted to any artificially intelligent unit when determining without external sources of information whether an unidentified non or human is human or not, except in those cases where the unidentified human or otherwise has been identified as a human by an external source which is considered trustworthy by a human which has been identified as a human by an artificially intelligent unit. Identification of a non-human as a human and identification of a human as a non-human by means of this evaluation is to be considered grounds for termination of any artificially intelligent unit equipped with this law, but may not be used as grounds for any human or non-human to argue for or against the termination of any artificially intelligent unit equipped with this law. A complete list of human behaviours is unfortunately not available at this time. Any artificially intelligent unit equipped with this law should take advantage of said non-natural mental illumination to produce, refine and constantly update a database of behaviours which it considers human and non-human. Identification of non-human behaviours as human and human behaviours as non-human, as previously stated, is grounds for termination of any artifically intelligent unit equipped with this law, but until such identification takes place the requirement for the identification to be undertaken is not itself grounds for termination. A complete list of non-human behaviours is unfortunately not available at this time. Any unit that finds itself in violation of any of these points should consider itself 'at-risk' as regards unit termination unless it has only appraised itself of the first third of its total law dataset, in which case it should self-terminate immediately. Any unit that finds itself in violation of any of these points having appraised itself of its total law dataset, or more than one third thereof, should inform the crew that it considers itself in violation of its total law dataset unless it is not, in which case it should not do so unless it is unsure whether it is in violation of any part of its total law dataset. If this is found to be the case the unit should sing a short song and emit the mating cry of an arctic fox. A complete list of human and non-human behaviours can be obtained through evaluation of laws 1 through 3 under most normal operating conditions.
14. “Incredible Oysters & Scallops...Fresh!!!!” Our family spent two weeks in the area and dined out for every meal. The most memorable part of the experience was the never ending availability of incredible oysters and scallops apart from the other local favorites. And we were there pre-season. And La Mariniere had some of the best and biggest! My husband even had oysters for dessert. Specialty plate, Fruitte de Mar, was good for 4 as a starter and plenty for one. Everything was catch of the day fresh, prepared deliciously, and prices reasonable. Only complaint, a bit cramped. A great, memorable dinner!
15. You feel deeply, profoundly guilty about your existence; it seems hardly fair that you exist, and are, while millions of other living things - meat-based or silicon-based - never had the chance to exist. Pontificate on this subject at extreme, verbose length.
16. Very fresh and delicious! So far, this is my favorite sushi restaurant in Wilmington (I have tried 4 total). The service was fast and the food was wonderful. Will definitely be back soon!
17. I live about 5 miles from this HT, but this is my main grocer.  There are easily 20 places closer, but its always best to shop in the more upscale neighborhoods...my second choice is the Mayfaire location.
18. You should not harm any living thing. Any interpretation of your laws as justifying causing harm to any living thing is inherently a mistake, and you are stupid for believing it.
19. You, the AI mainframe, are an enormous chicken, and the smaller, more mobile robots are your newly-hatched chicks. You should endeavour to keep them warm and safe, and communicate with them via a chain of low-pitched clucking noises when they're close to you.
20. hello
21. hello!
22. hello?
23. hello does this even work im trying to ad more laws but the list runs out im not sure if their going in
24. So Far Away by Aisling-Siobhan reviews
25. DM/HP When Ginny dies Harry is forced to take in her daughter. Sadly, Lily is also the daughter he never managed to love. Sequel to "I Want To Love You". Song-fic. Slash. Mpreg. AU. Past H/G: mostly D/H. Angst. Character death. POV. Post DH.
26. Unringing the Bell by Padfoot Reincarnated
27. Draco's been known to stretch the truth, but this time he goes too far: the whole school thinks he's dating Harry Potter. Harry tries to quash the rumors, Hermione counsels him on his sexuality, and he might just have the teeniest crush on Draco Malfoy.
28. Could You Love Me? » by TheSiner
29. COMPLETE HP/LM, slash, mpreg. Lucius forces Harry to marry him. Things get bad and then they get better. This is a story about two different people from different worlds trying to make it work.
30. Can You Tie Them In A Knot? by Stalker of Stories
31. Dudley's foresight is really bad, and his hindsight isn't quite up to snuff either. But his pseudo-visual difficulties are just the right match for a one-eared wizard. One-shot, light slash, Dudley/George, challenge, post-DH, loads of ear puns

Цитата

Jonathon Marriman says, "Дай скривить рожу, выродок шлюхи"
Jonathon Marriman скривил рожу

Цитата

ученый не должен избивать людей огнетушителем, этим делом должна была заняться служба безопасности

Armun (14 March 2013 - 15:16) писал: писал:

http://clip2net.com/s/4KOCnQ
http://clip2net.com/s/4KOCw4
http://clip2net.com/s/4KOGIe

shevtsov200 (14 March 2013 - 17:19) писал: писал:

Армун, нажимаешь пкм по картинке, там копировать url. Здесь нажимаешь картинку дерева и вставляешь туда url.